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When the phone rang at 9:37am I knew the caller must have the wrong number. No one ever calls me in my cabin when I'm working onboard a cruise ship. I’m the comedian. No one needs me until show time but I answered the phone anyway because that was the only way to make it stop ringing.

"Hello, Leighann?"

"Yes."

"It's the Assistant Cruise Director."|

"Hey, what's up?"

"I'm sorry,” he said. “You've been randomly selected for a drug test."

Silence.

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