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The Urban Erma is a storytelling podcast by stand-up comedian and author Leighann Lord.
Episodes
Wednesday Sep 18, 2013
Wednesday Sep 18, 2013
I’ve been getting a lot Facebook messages lately from young single women of color who desperately want to be my friend: Dora, Rosalind, Baha, Kate... It’s like the bad old days of penis enlargement emails and Nigerian royalty inheritance scams. Why is this happening? Is the Facebook Privacy & Security team on vacation? Oh, right: What privacy and security? I forgot that free social networking companies are in the business violating my privacy and selling my security to the highest bidder.
Tuesday Sep 10, 2013
Tuesday Sep 10, 2013
So, I’m casually flipping through The New York Daily News last week when I saw an old familiar face: Ray Garvey. The headline read: “‘Fame’ for Brooklyn’s ‘great guy’: Athlete, cop, actor, funnyman.” Ray was being posthumously inducted into the Brooklyn Softball Hall of Fame. He was only 52-years-old when he died from cancer. Funny, I never thought I’d get to the point in my life when the phrase “only 52” would come out of my mouth. As my eyes welled up with tears I thought: Has Ray really been gone for three years? I remember going to the wake and it seemed like a New York City comedy industry Who’s Who. It was only fitting. Not only did Ray have many friends but he’d also given opportunities to a lot of people. I was one of them.
Monday Aug 19, 2013
Monday Aug 19, 2013
Russell Simmons’ YouTube channel, All Def Digital, posted a video called the “Harriet Tubman Sex Tape.” When this story first flashed across my newsfeed I was pretty sure I hadn't read it right. The words were English but they just didn't make any sense. Harriet Tubman Sex Tape? What? You can see how these words in such close and unexpected proximity can fog the mind.
Tuesday Aug 13, 2013
Tuesday Aug 13, 2013
Okay, let me set the scene. I’m at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru. I’ve ordered a medium hot coffee, light, and sweet. It came to $2.16. I hand the kid $3.00. As he’s making change I find 20 cents (two dimes) and try to give it to him. He looks at me in a panic – my receipt already in his hand – shakes his head, and says: “No, it’s too late.”
I say, “No. No it isn’t.”
He says, “Okay” and hands me 75 cents. What?
Now it’s my turn to panic. Not because he gave me the wrong change but because he knew it was wrong and had no idea how to fix it. None. I could see it in his face.
Wednesday Aug 07, 2013
Wednesday Aug 07, 2013
New York City has toughened its hands-free driving laws. Now the penalty for fondling your phone while driving is five points on your license and up to $400 in fines. So, this was not the best time for my Bluetooth earpiece to break. Well technically it still works. What broke is the plastic part that fits around your ear to hold the device in place. I don’t mean to sound all conspiracy theory but I think the manufacturers hope the flimsy part breaks so you’ll buy a brand new earpiece. They’re banking that most people won’t go through the trouble of trying replace the part that loops around their ears. What the hell is that part even called?
Wednesday Jul 24, 2013
Wednesday Jul 24, 2013
People have asked me what I thought about The George Zimmerman Verdict. What is there to think? A Black child is dead and nobody’s going to jail for it. It’s not exactly what I would call a feel good moment. At first I thought they wanted my personal opinion about the case. They didn’t. They wanted comedic commentary, some hint of humor that might help the healing begin. Translation: Hey Leighann, got jokes?
Wednesday Jul 17, 2013
Wednesday Jul 17, 2013
I can think of no bigger waste of time then going to see a live baseball game. To me it’s just grown men sweating in public. Yes, I know this is blasphemy especially when one lives in one of the greatest baseball cities on earth. We’ve got the Mets, the Yankees, and some (and by some I mean anyone over the age of 70) will argue that New York is still the spiritual home of the Dodgers. I know this. And I’m sorry. I’m just not that into it. So what was I doing sitting behind home plate at a minor league, Brooklyn Cyclones game? Chalk it up to the things we do for love.
Wednesday Jul 10, 2013
Wednesday Jul 10, 2013
Tuesday Jul 02, 2013
Wednesday Jun 26, 2013
Wednesday Jun 26, 2013
I started wearing glasses at the age of three. I hated them so much I would take them off and hide them in my mom’s clothes dryer; a front-loader that was the perfect height for a disgruntled toddler. When I did wear my glasses, I never cleaned them. Unable to see through the filthy lenses, the glasses would slip down to the tip of my nose and I’d peer out over the top of the frames, which made me look like a little old lady. This might explain why my maternal grandfather’s nickname for me was, Grandma.